This week the UK government tried to entice youngsters with the ‘millennials’ railcard, the 2017 budget booted out stamp duty and Leeds’ hopes to become European Capital for Culture were crushed.
While we’ve all seen these big financial stories, here’s five things from this week you may have missed.
1 – Water firms are using Witchcraft
Sometimes you catch a headline on an allegedly accurate news source which causes you to check with every nearby stranger that you’ve not timewarped to April Fools day. This week it was revealed that a ridiculous number of water firms in the UK still use the medieval method of water dowsing.
Severn Trent’s social team tried really hard to prove on Twitter that they’re not completely in the dark ages by reminding us that they also use modern technology. But, still…really?
We’ve found that some of the older methods are just as effective than the new ones, but we do use drones as well, and now satellites. You can find more information here: https://t.co/zQKlQGl6no
— Severn Trent (@stwater) November 20, 2017
Mind you it’s rich for us to criticise: we’re still going to a Tarot reader for our quarterly projections and a seance is just genuinely a really great team-building exercise.
2 – How to Win Votes and Drink Like People
While last week the internet mega-memed Donald Trump’s bigly boy water bottle, this week Theresa May failed to drink wine ‘properly’. Along with Miliband and Cameron struggling with snacks, we’ve witnessed enough political food fails to fill a New Yorker-esq book of the decade.
Our PR advice for any spin doctors would be to steal Jay Gatsby’s daily etiquette routine and get your politician to practise, practise, practise. But, like a well trained actor who can retain their accent, we advise they keep their clumsy habits just in case they need a cheeky PR smokescreen.
Politician poking aside, we should remember that almost no one in real life looks attractive or intelligent when they eat. This is why food advertising rarely focuses on mouths and why it is genuinely amazing when you’ve been trusted for a second date to that very well lit Italian.
3 – Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nuthing To F’With
A hip-hop loving dog walker obviously hadn’t been listening carefully when he was sued by the band for copyright breach by using the name ‘Woof-Tang Clan’.
It would be easy to hate the big guy for picking on the little guy. They’ve tried to make a living by doing something fun and quirky. But there’s a lesson here – keep your core messaging consistent if you’re risking your brand name on pun. If you’ve associated yourself with one artist and then claim on your website that another artist has produced the greatest album of all time, someone might be a little upset and, y’know, possibly sue you. Even if you are a fan.
A similar thing happened a few years back: a convent garden ice cream vendor was sued by Lady Gaga for branding their breast milk* ice cream ‘Baby Gaga’, probably because it’s one of the few foods she can’t wear as a costume.
4 – Waterygate Scandal
Holland’s Pies tested their ‘Proper Lancashire Baker’ status this week with a tweet that plays on the ‘northerners love gravy’ cliche. They produced a video featuring gravy so watery it got people claiming they’ve had ‘thicker cups of tea’.** There was engagement from followers but the angry kind, with some even accusing southerners as the cause for the bad content. As we discovered last week this debate never ends well, or in fact ever ends.
Beware this is a painful watch.
Only true Northerners will appreciate a pie smothered in gravy 🤤 pic.twitter.com/1uzD3E3zOy
— Holland’s (@HollandsPies) November 21, 2017
5 – A Toblerone should never cost £57
And finally, Morrisons is selling a big Toblerone that’s about the price of a kids tricycle. So, rather that it being a stocking filler it will now be your main present. Unless you buy many small ones and melt them together.
* Don’t ask. Seriously, we don’t know why either.
**Tenuously linked but we won a bottle of wine this week on our first pub quiz outing with our Thanksgiving themed name ‘50 Shades of Gravy’. So, keep that one in the bag. You’re welcome.
— ilk (@ilkagency) November 21, 2017