All part of an epic awards night out.
Awards dos are funny things. Essentially you’re spending every minute up until the big announcement hoping your rivals DON’T win, then clapping respectfully and quietly when they do.
Let’s face it though, we don’t go to these things for the actual awards, do we? It’s the same as any other ceremony; we go for the extras, the unexpected bits – like J-Law’s fall at the 2013 Oscars, (this will always be my fave), Madge’s epic plummet at the Brits earlier this year, or Kanye’s collection of batshit speeches – the bits that make the awards a bloody good night out.
So in the wake of an all together wild night at the CIPR Yorkshire and Lincolnshire PRide Awards dinner last week (yes, we’ve only just mustered up the strength to write about it!), we’re offering a few hints on what you should do, whilst taking very little notice of the things you shouldn’t.
First things first
Do: Plan your hangover lunch in advance. Knowing the logistics of getting a Five Guys in your dying body is going to be key to your survival.
Do: Clap for everyone. Even when your hands start to hurt.
Don’t: Be rude. No one likes a sore loser.
Do: Scream as loud as possible every time your agency is mentioned. Bring your teeny coverage bell from the office and ding it at every opportunity. This is possibly only specific to Manifest…
Do: Cheat on the quiz. We want champagne.
Do: Get your host to incorporate a well-known song lyric into his preamble. See if anyone notices. Feel infinitely smug about it.
Do: “Bump” into someone you know is going to be handing out free drinks – shout out to Jagerbomb Tom – or seek them out and point blank ask them for booze.
Do: Synchronised dance moves that just happen to have become a thing at your agency. Perform with wild abandon as everyone else looks at you like you’re very, very special. Care not and bust out the big ones.
Don’t: Take red wine to the dance floor and spill it all over your dress. Just. Put. It. Down.
Don’t: Slut drop and split your trousers. We know, we know, you were just so into it…
Do: Find Chanelle and do a right sensual dutty wine with her. She appreciates it. Trust.
Don’t: Leave the awards to get a takeaway half way through the night. Your colleagues will freak out and you’ll just feel guilty afterwards. Or perhaps completely satisfied.
Do: Stay out. Awards are over but Call Lane’s there for the taking.
Do: Profess to not care how much you’ve had to drink when someone reminds you of work in the morning. Proceed to dance all of your troubles away.
Don’t: Spend the end of the night laid on the floor eating chips in your suit. You’ll ruin your suit and do your digestion no favours.
Don’t: Allow your colleagues to film you whilst très drunk in Maccie D’s trying to shovel food into your gob. No one needs that.
Don’t: Flash your bra at colleagues. Or do ’cause they think it’s hilarious.
And there we have it, survival rules for awards dos that no one at Manifest has ever taken the slightest bit of notice of. And I daresay we never will.
P.S. We won the quiz.